3-Headed Shark Attack (2015)

Directed by Christopher Gray.  Written by Jacob Cooney and Bill Hanstock.  Starring Rob Van Dam, Jason Simmons, Karrueche Tran, Jena Sims and Danny Trejo.

Plot: duh!  a 3-headed shark attacks an underwater research facility and a party boat as well

3-headed-shark-attack-02

This movie definitely falls under the heading of “so bad it’s good”.  Why?  Because people begin to fly through the air before the explosion even occurs.  Because after the underwater facility is taken out by the shark, everyone decides to swim one by one to a nearby boat.  This doesn’t work, of course, and you get to watch several of them being eaten.  Why wouldn’t you just all swim together?  The shark can’t be in 10 different places at once no matter how many heads it has.

All the girls in the movie are in tank tops or bikinis while all the guys are fully dressed.  And if that isn’t bad enough, whenever someone gets hurt, it’s a girl that rips off a piece of her shirt to wrap around the wound.  3 people stood next to each other and got eaten at the same time: TWICE!  Danny Trejo joins the cast late, but just in time to cut off one of the heads and then get eaten.  But of course, Hail Hydra!  3 heads take the place of the Danny cuts off.  Yup!

If you don’t want to watch it yet, let me tell you that it’s hilarious.  Some of the cast could even act.  There’s lots of boob shots, an excellent opening scene and an awesome motive.  You see, the shark is drawn to and eats pollution because the garbage in the ocean is literally driving it mad.  Yup!

While we only give it a 40, we recommend you gather your friends and watch this movie.  Tonight.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.