Fun Size Horror: Volume One (2015)

Plot: a whole compilation of bite-size horror stories

This is a hard movie to rate.  With over 15 directors and 25 writers, there were a lot of hands in the pot.  And unfortunately it didn’t come out as anything we want to have again.  There was a few good stories mixed in with the bunch, but most of them were bad.  Let’s get them out of the way first.


******SPOILERS AHEAD******



Bad Stories

  1. Happy Birthday – a girl gets a puppy for her birthday and then her older dog precedes to bite the puppy’s head off.  Normally, this would be scarring, but instead the little girl laughs and asks to do it again.  The camera pans over to the rest of her presents and you realize she’s gotten more than one puppy for her birthday.  I suppose this is supposed to be funny because its certainly not scary, but we just found the dog on dog violence stupid and cruel.
  2. Bad Eggs – this story was literally about 2 British hand puppets and one eats the other.  The end.  Like, what the fuck?
  3. Somebody’s Watching You – stupid.  Cliche.  A group of girls are being watched and they have to decide which one of them will die or whoever is watching them will decide for them.  Apparently, all the girls have something in common and one of them is cray.  So, it ends poorly.  And the acting is bad.

Of course, there were also some genuine gems in the mix or the movie would’ve gotten a zero, which it didn’t.  Here they are:


Good Stories

  1. Mother – a pregnant woman goes in for an ultrasound and sees a bunch of spiders inside of her instead of a human baby.  It’s quite gross.  Then, she goes home, turns into a spider herself (again, gross), and kills her boyfriend.  Now, there’s not much point to this, but it’s very well done.  Creeped me out.
  2. Knock, Knock – a little boy hears a knock coming from INSIDE his closet.  Then, you know what this little bastard does, he goes to investigate.  Sure enough, something is in there.  So, he runs back under the covers, but he’s dropped his plastic sword on the floor.  He decides to reach for it and, well, let’s just say that if something’s in the closet, something’s probably under the bed, too.  Creepy.  I shut my eyes.
  3. The Creepy Fucking Kid in Apt. B – this is about a creepy kid in an apartment building.  He sneaks into a neighbors house and starts saying words that don’t seem to make any sense.  Mainly, “people” and “fish”.  So, his mom comes to get him and informs the owner of the apartment that her son has the ability to know what someone’s last meal was.  So, he turns to his mom and says “bread” and he turns to the lady and says “fish” and then he stares off into the distance and says “people”.  But the two women are so psyched that he’s correct about what they’ve eaten, they fail to realize that he keeps fucking saying the word “PEOPLE”!!!  It’s creeptastic.  And we don’t feel bad for the woman destined to die because she completely ignored the multiple warnings.

All in all, it wasn’t that bad, but it wasn’t good either.  We’d probably recommend it just for the stories we like.  And of course, you may find others that you like.  Our score though: 40/100.

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