4 Movies Critics Loved and We Hated

These 4 movies were mostly lauded on Rotten Tomatoes or some other such site, but we don’t get why.  We were bored, disgusted, disappointed or confused.  See if you agree.

eden-lake

  1. EDEN LAKE (2008)

Hailed as “one of the most provocative and terrifying thrillers”, this brutal movie is about a couple on a romantic getaway that come across a violent gang of children.  James Watkins directed the remake of The Woman in Black which we liked, so we were expecting more from this.  However, it was unoriginal, a dog dies horribly and the end is shit.  It was shock for shocks sake and we’re totally not into that.  Do not watch if you’re squeamish.  I’m angry with Michael Fassbender for taking part in this atrocity.

TERRIFIER-05-Art-the-Clowns

      2. TERRIFIER (2017)

Art the Clown is not terrifying, he’s a mess.  And he makes a big mess.  Critics call it a “throwback” to the 80’s slasher, but we don’t see how.  In the 80’s they never made such a mess.  In the 80’s, motives were real and original and existed.  In the 80’s, the slashers didn’t use guns.  I am freaking horrified of clowns.  Art even bothered me in the beginning, but by the time the movie was halfway in, I had lost all fear and was feeling hatred instead.  Hatred for myself and DJ for turning the movie on in the first place.

the-witch-2015-4

      3. THE WITCH (2015)

Written and directed by Robert Eggers, this movie centers around a family in 1630’s New England that is torn apart by black magic.  Now, this is Eggers’s first movie, so maybe he’ll get better.  We plan to give him another chance.  However, this movie was boring and incestuous.  And we were left wondering if Eggers had a problem with religion or just women in general?  We definitely think he crossed some lines with this movie and we just weren’t into it.

the_den

      4. THE DEN (2013)

So, a woman witnesses a murder on a chat site and then her friends start disappearing, too.  The opening was good.  Scary even.  We had hope going forward.  About halfway through though, we stopped caring about everyone and everything having to do with this movie.  Sadly, I have to admit that we didn’t turn it off.  I wish we had, but we didn’t.  And OH! the end – so fucking unoriginal.  Such a piece of crap.  And nowhere near as horrifying as the beginning suggested it would be.

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