The Depraved (AKA Urban Explorer) (2011)

Directed by Andy Fetscher.  Written by Martin Thau.  Starring Nathalie Kelley, Klaus Stiglmeier, Nick Eversman, Max Riemelt, Brenda Koo and Catherine de Lean.

Plot: a group of adventurous young people go into the Berlin underground to explore and come across a madman who likes torture

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These stupid young people go into a maze of underground tunnels to explore and are surprised when shit gets real.  They have to “break in” in the first place because you’re not supposed to go down there, so right there, I’m out.  As is DJ.  We just don’t have the energy to be that dumb.

The four people who go into the tunnel consist of a ridiculous American boy, a whiny girl and two lesbians who can’t decide whether or not they actually want to be on this little adventure at all.  We think we were supposed to care when the couple finally said “I love you”, but we did not.  The whole time we were waiting for this film to tell us a story and it just didn’t.  The director seems really pretentious and he was also the cinematographer and he did an awful job.  It was unrealistic, lacking motive and had no rules.  Plus, it brought up more questions than it answered.

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Things you’ll wonder if you decide to watch this: Was there a secret organization or something or was the killer just batshit and talking to himself on the phone?  When did he even have the chance to kill the lesbians?  Why didn’t that chick run further?  Why does the bad guy keep calling the one girl Mickey Mouse?  What was the point of her praying if the gun misfired, but then he snapped her neck anyway?  Is that some forced atheism crap, cause DJ’s an atheist and even he was pissed off about it?  And WTF was the point of the last scene?  His teeth are busted, so why do we need to see him brushing them?

This movie is not something anyone needs to witness.  Our score: 10.

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