The Houses October Built (2014)

Directed by Bobby Roe.  Written by Bobby Roe, Zack Andrews, Jason Zada and Jeff Larson.  Starring Roe, Andrews and Larson.  Also, Bobby’s brother, Mikey Roe.

Plot: 5 people go on a tour of haunted houses and find an “extreme” one that’s a little too realistic.

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In this found footage film, a group of friends head South to visit some of the scariest haunted houses in report.  They are recording their experiences, of course.  While they start with more straight-forward haunted houses, there real goal is to head to the most extreme ones, namely one called “Blue Skeleton”.

Most of the problem with this movie is that we didn’t like anyone.  The group of 5 is filled with dicks like Zack, who just have to see the most extreme everything, and whiners like Brandy, who the film treats inconsistently.  One minute everyone wants to take care of Brandy, the next minute they’re all sure she’ll be okay on her own.  Our favorite character (and actor for that matter – he was the only one we believed) was Mikey.  But we were even annoyed at him for not eventually saying, “No, dude, I’m not doing it.”

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The characters also didn’t have any fight in them.  Like, this is survival people.  You fight till you can’t fight no more.  And they were consistently wrong about facts they were talking about.  When they said that no zombie had shot a gun in the history of cinema, it almost killed us.  Are we pretending that “Bub” and Day of the Dead aren’t a thing?  And really, what were they expecting from these haunts anyway?  They allow themselves to go to extreme places and then whine the whole time.  I mean, me and DJ wouldn’t have been there.  All we need is a clown and an old lady chasing us around for about two minutes and we’re good the whole rest of the year.

Speaking of which, the movie was creepy in parts.  We liked going through some of the houses with them.  It reminded us of our own Halloween traditions.  But we were expecting better after that first clown and we were let down with the weak, non-scary, second half.

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There was just too much wrong with this movie for us to recommend it.  There was no motive because you don’t even know who they are.  There was also no rules, BS characters and a horrible soundtrack.  So tires of metal being used like it’s so scary when really it’s been done to death.

Our score: 23.

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