The Nun (2005)

Directed by Luis de la Madrid.  Written by Manu Diez and Jaume Balaguero.  Starring Anita Briem, Belen Blanco, Manu Fullola, Alistair Freeland, and Natalia Dicenta.

Plot: after her mother dies, Eve meets her mother’s old friends and discovers that the ghostly nun she thought she saw is real and is coming after all of them for revenge.

Nun-Pic-7-800x451

Not to be confused with The Nun of 2018, this movie sucks even more than that one did.  Like, a lot more.  We barely gave it points at all.

The plot is quite confusing and some elements are thrown in just to be thrown in honestly.  It’s like there’s no point for any of them at all.  Let me try to break it down one event at a time.  First, this crazy nun finds out this young girl at her school is pregnant and instead of investigating anything, she goes after the girl trying to force an abortion on her.  Well, the girl’s friend end up drowning the nun and saving their friend from such a fate.  Years later though, the spot they drowned the nun is emptied of the water and her spirit is freed.  So, being the crazy bitch she was, she starts going after the people that killed her.  Starting with Mary, the pregnant girl.

Now, Mary has a daughter, Eve (cute name, huh?), who swears she saw a nun ghost killing her mother, so she goes to the school and thus starts the real “fear”.  She meets her mother’s old friends and also a young priest-in-training who she gets close to really fast.  I can see why from her side.  He’s cute.  He’s stable.  But he is a priest-in-training, so, don’t really know where that relationship is going.

 

Nun-Pic-2-800x451You probably know what the twist is already without me telling you, so I won’t.  But just know that it doesn’t fit in anywhere.  I mean, it fits, but it doesn’t because it didn’t really add anything to the story.  We could’ve left that whole part out and the movie would’ve been 20 minutes shorter and none the worse for wear.

People do really stupid things in this movie over and over again.  Like when Susan, who clearly doesn’t want to die, but knows there’s a ghost nun loose, locks herself in a room alone.  It was unrealistic.  How did she shoot herself with that arrow?  It’s just bullshit after bullshit, twist after twist, followed by a really ridiculous ending.  We do not recommend.

Our score: 12.

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