Drive Thru (2007)

Written and directed by Brendan Cowles and Shane Kuhn.  Starring Leighton Meester, Melora Hardin, Nicholas D’Agosto, Penn Badgley, Rachel Bella and Lola Glaudini.

Plot: a high school student and her classmates are stalked by a fast food mascot, Horny the Clown.

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No.  No.  NO.  NO.  Don’t watch this.  Let me tell you why.

The restaurant Hella Burger has a mascot, Horny the Clown, that’s killing people.  The town in which they live is called Blanca Carne (or white meat, get it?).  He just hacks up most of the people, but there is some innovation.  It’s just that the specials were so awful that it took something away.

The writing is terrible.  For every one funny line, there’s ten lines of garbage.  It was unrealistic.  She couldn’t have set fire to him without setting fire to herself if she was already doused in gasoline.  It was unoriginal.  It stole from so many much better movies, mainly The Shining, Nightmare on Elm Street and Happy Birthday to Me.

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The rules suck, too.  For some reason Horny can possess people and toys, but we’re not sure why.  Which sucks.  The soundtrack is bad.  There was no Freddy Claws.  And there were no boob shots.  How was there no boob shots?

This movie is not fabulous.  Please don’t watch it.

Our score: 17.

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