Crocodile (2000)

Directed by Tobe Hooper.  Written by Jace Anderson, Boaz Davidson, Michael D. Weiss and Adam Gieresch.  Starring Caitlin Martin, Mark McLachlan, Chris Solari, Julie Mintz, D. W. Reiser and Greg Wayne.

Plot: a giant crocodile ruins the fun weekend of a group of friends partying on a boat.

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Two hicks are playing around with some eggs and it turns out they belong to this famed monster of a crocodile, so they both get eaten right away.  The party goers arrive and start telling ghost stories.  Most of the guys are dicks and most of the girls are stupid.  I mean, even the “smart one” makes some stupid comment when someone mentions a Harlen Clemens and she’s like, “Isn’t that Mark Twain’s real name?”

Anyway, two of the dicks find the eggs and puts in the smart one’s, Claire’s (Martin) bag.  So, the crocodile comes looking for her egg and that’s when the shit hits the fan.

DJ said it was like everyone that got rejected for Melrose Place decided to make a horror movie.  We’re honestly surprised it took so many people to write this and we’re really surprised that Hooper directed it.  I mean, the crocodile looks pretty good considering the obvious lack of a real budget.  But the science needs some work.  Although, it is a magical crocodile, so we’ll give it points anyway.

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It was funny.  And the rules were actually pretty good.  If you returned the egg, you were golden.  So, surprisingly, we gave it a pretty rad score and suggest you see it if you want to have some laughs.

Our score: 55.

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