Beneath (2013)

Directed by Ben Ketai.  Written by Patrick Doody and Chris Valenziano.  Starring Jeff Fahey, Kelly Noonan, Joey Kern, Molly Hagan, Brent Briscoe and Eric Etebari.

Plot: a group of coal miners get trapped 600 feet beneath the surface and are soon terrified by strange happenings.

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First of all, it says “based on actual events”, but it isn’t.  There was no mine, there was no collapse.  IFC sucks with being able to say such bullshit.  Second of all, it’s boring.  It’s so boring.  Third of all, the motive, rules and Freddy Claws are for shit.

A bunch of likable characters go into a mine and end up crazy.  That’s the whole movie.  I mean, why does everyone go crazy in mines.  It seems that horror movies hate mines.  We did have fun during the end credits song, though.  We laughed our way through that.  If you can withstand the pain of the film, you gotta take pleasure in the little things.

Our score: 20.

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