6 Sequels to Skip this Season

People always make sequels and we’re not some of the people that hate all sequels, but these sequels deserve to be hated.  So, here goes!!

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V/H/S: Viral (2014)  

Written and directed by all different people, this sequel does not hold up to V/H/S 2, which we enjoyed.  It’s a strange anthology of some very weird, little films.  In one of the stories, the specials sucked so bad it was distracting.  In another, it was so gross it was distracting.  And in yet another we were so confused at the clusterfuck of weirdness that we just gave up trying to understand it.  Also, there’s a Hispanic barbecue in the middle of the film that’s completely racist and a dog is killed with a barbecue fork to the head.  Like, what the fuck?

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Cube 2: Hypercube (2003)  

This sequel follows the same routine as the first.  Strangers wake up inside a cube, they don’t remember how they got there, and as they try to get out they find some dangerous rooms where people die and the very laws of physics don’t apply.  And for some reason it all has to do with weapons manufacturing.  Not sure why.  We’re really just done with the Cube movies altogether.

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The Houses October Built 2 (2017)  

I don’t understand Bobby Roe.  He directed, starred in and helped write the first movie (which we didn’t like much at all) and he did the same for this one.  Like the first one, we like no one.  They’re stupid.  After everything they went through in the first movie, they go out again the following Halloween.  Why?  Cause they’re getting paid.  Does it go well for them?  Of course not.  We really hated ourselves for even finishing it.  It was one of the dumber movies we’ve watched.

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Wrong Turn 2: Dead End (2007)  

The same 2 people wrote this one as did the first, so we thought we would have liked it more, but that wasn’t so.  In this sequel, a reality TV crew and it’s “stars” go into the woods and begin to die at the hands of some inbred cannibals.  Although these inbred baddies are supposedly some of the same from the first movie, they are even more disgusting and more superhuman and more hateful.  One has his neck broken and he just snaps it back into place.  We almost turned this one off at one point, but we suffered through instead.  There are some “unexpected” deaths in this one, which was cool because we usually don’t see that, but it’s still not enough for us to recommend it.

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Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead (2009)  

In this movie, the inbreds chase a group of convicts, a couple officers and a young woman.  And it’s bad.  So bad.  There’s too many subplots going on for a cannibal movie.  No one cares that he may be innocent or that people are greedy or that the one guy’s undercover because everyone’s going to die anyway, right?  There’s no Freddy Claws.  No one works with anyone else.  It’s just a bad prison movie that happens to have cannibals in it.  And I really like Janet Montgomery, too, but she couldn’t save this.

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The Descent: Part 2 (2009)  

The first movie was written and directed by the same guy, while this sequel was written and directed by four different people.  I don’t know if that’s conducive to creativity, but there you have it.  The first one ended with Sarah coming out of the mine alone.  Now she’s got no recollection of what happened, so a search and rescue team take her with them back into the mines to try and find the others.  Everyone gets split up so comically in this movie.  A creature jumps out and they just naturally run in all different directions.  There’s pretty good acting and specials, but it still doesn’t really explain why these creatures are there or what they really are.  Also, the end SUCKED so hard.  It was ridiculous.

“You’re kidding?  No.  You’re crazy.  Okay.”

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