Top Six Sad Sacks from the Friday the 13th Franchise

This is a personal top six of the biggest sad sacks of the Friday the 13th franchise.

A few things… First, this list is solely based on what happens with the character in the movie, no where else and has nothing to do with the actor that portrays said character. Also i am only including six sad sack guys, so no girls on this list.

First up at number 6 is…

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Jimbo! from Part IV, now some people may have a problem with my inclusion of him because he did get some from Tina, but Tina was a slut so it only half counts haha. Put his getting dumped by “BJ” Bettie together with his best friend calling him a dead fuck (get some new friends) and his sick dance moves haha and you have one sad sack, still a meat cleaver to the face was a harsh punishment.

Next up at number 5 is…

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Eddie from Part VII. He has in his own words been “rejected by some of the finest science fiction magazines in the continental United States” and though he owns that, from what we hear about a proposed story in the movie, it seems his rejection is justified. He is also fooled into thinking he is going to get some by the resident rich bitch Melissa. Which come on, use your head sir.

Next up at number 4 we have…

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Jake from part V. This stuttering nerd, isn’t on the list for the stutter though it doesn’t help that it impedes him even when he is angry or horny. Beside that he is turned down and even laughed at by his crush and then dismissed by a friend, again get some new friends and maybe some better taste.

Next up is number 3…

Ted

Teddy bear form part IV. our second entry from part IV we have Teddy, who might mean well but mostly just comes across as mean and a bit sad. He disrespects his best friend, gets turned down by two different girls one being a slut and goes around making crude jokes and never takes a hint. My computer says you are a sad sack ol teddy bear.

Next up at number 2 is…

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Shelly from part III. Some of you might think he should be number one but i disagree, hopefully when you see my number one you will see why though Shelly is terrible, he is not the worst. You have in Shelly a guy with zero confidence who tries to make up for it with stupid and often bad practical jokes. He runs like nothing i have ever seen before and he gets turned down by his date. Though he has a bit of a moment in the sun in the movie, nothing can fully redeem him from those pants that are way too tight.

And at number one we have…

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Joey from part V, our second from V. Joey is a mess, from him being chubby to him being an actual chocolate covered mess who dirties the newly cleaned sheets. He never gets a chance to get turned down by anyone, not that I’m convinced Joey even wants any, which adds to his sad sackdom. He isn’t even killed by the killer and some could argue he is responsible for everyone else’s death. He straight up annoys someone into killing him, its pretty sad sack to literally be so annoying you have to die.

So there it is, my personal list of Six Sad Sacks from the Friday the 13th Franchise.

Let me know in the comments if you agree or disagree or who you think should have made the list!

 

 

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