Open Water 2: Adrift (2006)

Directed by Hans Horn. Written by Adam Kreutner. Starring Eric Dane, Susan May Pratt, Richard Speight Jr., Cameron Richardson, Ali Willis and Niklaus Lange.

Plot: a group of friends find themselves stranded in the middle of the ocean fighting to survive.

After seeing the first Open Water, I was expected to see a bit more than some jackasses arguing in the middle of the ocean, but that’s all I really got. I’m going to give away the whole movie here so SPOILER ALERT, stop reading now if you don’t want it given away.

A bunch of stupid people go to sea. There’s Dan, the playboy (Dane), Amy, the one afraid of water, who won’t ever take off her life vest (Pratt), James, her out of place husband (Speight Jr.), Michelle, Dan’s date and genuine loony (Richardson), Lauren, who holds her shit together the longest (Willis) and Zach, who is just extra fodder I guess (Lange). Oh, and the best part, Amy and James have brought their little baby Sarah along for the ride.

So, now they all jump into the water except Dan and Amy, who used to date. They stay behind while Amy feeds Sarah and they talk and stuff. It’s not too important. What is important is that when Amy and Dan leave the cabin of the yacht to come see their friends, Dan decides to be a complete asshole and throw himself and Amy overboard knowing she’s afraid of the water. Now where does it all go REALLY wrong you ask? Well, while everyone jumped into the water, no one actually pressed the ladder button!! So, now they have no way of getting back onto the yacht.

Things fall apart pretty quickly then. Most of them scream at Dan. James hits his head severely and goes like comatose. Michelle goes straight up bananas, even trying to steal Amy’s life vest. Zach is accidentally stabbed. And then Lauren goes to swim to shore but we all know she ain’t making it. Even with the blood in the water though, we see no sharks. Not even any little ones. It’s very unrealistic. I mean, this a great cast, but god it’s an awful movie.

And the end!!! Dear sweet Jesus, the end. See, another boat comes along and they see no one, but they can hear Sarah crying from the cabin below. So, you assume that everyone has died except the baby. How horrible. Except they also confuse you by having a follow up shot where Amy and Dan are, in fact, back on the yacht, but apparently that’s some sort of death dream or something and isn’t real. I mean, what the hell??

Don’t watch this. DO NOT. Please.

My score: 10. DJ’s score: 5.

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