V/H/S 2 (2013)

Directed by Simon Barrett, Jason Eisener, Adam Wingard, Eduardo Sanchez, Gregg Hale, Timo Tjahjanto and Gareth Evans. Written by Barrett, Tjahjanto, Evans, Jamie Nash and John Davies. Starring Barrett, Wingard, Lawrence Michael Levine, Jay Saunders, Mindy Robinson and Fachri Albar.

Plot: a college student’s mother hires a P.I. (Levine) to track down her son – later, he finds strange tapes while looking for him at his home.

Phase 1 Clinical Trials – after a car accident, Herman (Wingard) gets a camera lens implanted in his new eye and begins seeing dead people. A girl comes to him and says that she knows he’s seeing dead people and not to interact with them because it would be dangerous. Stupidly, he interacts and bad shit happens. There’s boob shots and a creepy little girl, but there’s nothing to really write home about with this one. It’s kind of middle of the road.

A Ride In the Park – Mike (Saunders) is attacked by a zombie while bike riding through the woods. He has a camera on his head, so we get to see him turn and attack 2 people, turning them into zombies as well. There’s this very interesting zombie progression we get to witness as well. It’s a very original concept. The motive is good, there’s good innovation and it’s realistic. It was a really good short and a perfect addition to the movie.

Safe Haven – Even more perrfect than the zombie short, comes a little story about the devil. Adam (Albar) and his camera crew infiltrate a cult called Paradise Gates. Little do they know however, that the cult has only let them in because one of them is pregnant with something very “special” and highly disturbing. I can’t say more than that on the plot because I don’t want it ruined. I will say that the effects are great, the ending is great and if this happened to me or DJ, we’d definitely shit ourselves. It got the highest score of the bunch.

Slumber Party Alien Abduction – Sadly, this short has the lowest score of all. Like the title implies, some boys are having a slumber party and aliens come to abduct them. What it doesn’t say though, is that there’s a dog that dies for no reason because the aliens aren’t simply there to abduct. It’s unoriginal, the kids are unlikable, and why the hell are aliens ALWAYS bad? Geez.

My total score: 53. DJ’s total score: 59.