Piranha (1995)

Directed Scott P. Levy. Written by Alex Simon, Richard Robinson and John Sayles. Starring William Katt, Alexandra Paul, Mila Kunis, Leland Orser, Soleil Moon Frye, Monte Markham and James Karen.

Plot: a government tank housing genetically engineered piranhas is emptied into a river that flows right past a resort.

This remake opens with a boob shot and gets better from there as P.I. McNamara (Paul) goes looking for a missing girl after being hired by J.R. Randolph (Markham), the girl’s uncle. Paul (Katt) joins her on the search because he knows the area so well. They find out that there’s genetically engineered piranha and that they are headed for a resort that Randolph just so happens to own. He doesn’t believe them, of course, and has them detained. Can they escape in time to save the town? Dun-dun-dun!!!

It is unintentionally funny and for some reason the piranha sound like eagles most of the time, but it’s a good safe bet to watch on movie night. It’s just that fun. There’s also bad Freddy Claws, but the beginning and the ending are surprisingly good. And little Mila is just so gosh darn cute. We recommend if you can get your hands on it.

Our score: 64.

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