Brightburn (2019)

Written and directed by Brian and Mark Gunn. Starring Elizabeth Banks, David Denman, Jackson A. Dunn, Matt Jones, Meredith Hagner and Michael Rooker.

Plot: a child of extraterrestrial origin, raised on Earth, uses his superpowers to terrorize his town.

Unpopular opinion time: we HATE this movie. Let me tell you a little about it.

Tori (Banks) and Kyle (Denman) Breyer cannot have children, so when a spaceship with an infant inside lands on their property, they keep him and raise him as their own son. Years later, as Brandon (Dunn) becomes a teenager, he starts to display superpowers (strength, invulnerability, speed, etc.) and acts very strangely. He stalks the girl he likes. He kills a bunch of chickens. He generally worries the shit out of his “father”. But his mother refuses to see the signs in the beginning.

Finally, his “mother” tells him the truth. That he wasn’t adopted at all, but that he is an alien. Well, he takes that news and runs with it full force, thinking that he is somehow superior to us. And he begins hunting humans. Including members of his own family.

******SPOILER ALERT******

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The little dickhead that is Brandon eventually kills his uncle and makes it look like a car accident. He also kills his father by burning a hole into his head. It’s very nasty, but probably not as nasty as the uncle bit. And then, in the end, he kills his mother and everyone aboard an airplane and makes it looks like an accident. During the end credits you see that Brandon has taken his terror to new heights and is now attacking the entire world. He is dubbed “Brightburn” by the media.

The movie, to us, is pointless. Supposedly it’s like, what if Superman had been evil, but we’ve actually already seen that 1,000 times over. It’s called Alien and Independence Day and Predator and Signs and Cloverfield and freakin’ Killer Klowns from Outer Space for Christ’s sake. We’re over it. It’s so pessamistic, almost no one is likable, the motive is non-existent, there are no rules, no Freddy Claws and a horrendous story. We can’t rewatch it because we hardly got through it all the first time.

The effects were good and the cast was great, but we still can’t understand why our own father recommend this to us.

Our score: 15.

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