Amityville 1992: It’s About Time (1992)

Directed by Tony Randel. Written by Christopher DeFaria, Antonio Toro and John G. Jones. Starring Stephen Macht, Shawn Weatherly, Megan Ward, Damon Martin, Dean Cochran, Terrie Snell and Dick Miller.

Plot: a man brings a clock into his house without realizing that the clock itself is harboring evil.

Jacob (Macht) is an architect who lives in California. He goes to work in Amityville and finds a clock in the infamouse Amityville house that he brings home with him. At home, Jacob lives with his daughter, Lisa (Ward) and son, Rusty (Martin). His ex, Andrea (Weatherly) is also staying with him for a time. Not completely sure why they’re still so close, but they are.

Anyway, once the clock comes into the house, things start to go haywire. The family starts to act different, dogs attack people, there’s incest (of course), death and lots of nasty goo. The movie is funny though, but only when it shouldn’t be. And now, the spoilers:

******SPOILER ALERT******

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Apparently, the whole house becomes a clock and Andrea ends up fighting with it. Literally. It, somehow, de-ages Rusty and he becomes a toddler. And it starts to age Andrea into an old woman. But she still manages to expose a gas pipe while tearing apart the house and then, she blows it up. But why was he a toddler? Why was she old? Why was the whole house now a clock?

Then! Then! After the house is blown up, somehow time rewinds itself and it goes back to the day that Jacob brought the clock to the house. Andrea, remembering everything that happened, bashes the clock to death. And Rusty, who apparently remembers as well, smiles. Why? Why do they remember when no one else does? And why did time rewind anyway? We don’t understand a damn thing that happened in this movie. For that, we hate it.

Our score: 17.

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