The Charnel House (2016)

Written by Emanuel Isler and Chad Israel

Directed by Craig Moss

Starring Nadine Velazquez, McKenzie Moss, Callum Blue, Erik LaRay Harvey and Joe Keery

Plot: a long abandoned slaughterhouse, transformed into lofts, torments it’s new tenants

For starters the title is a general phrase used to describe a place filled with death and destruction and we found that to be pretentious and like all pretentious things, unearned.

This movie has a horrible motive and no rules. The story is piss poor. We don’t get why the house had to kill people. There was some weird, nonsensical shit about doppelgangers as well. The blond girl is no good but we attribute a great deal of that to the awful writing.

Groans at the end. We are not happy about watching this one. I have it incredibly close to twice as many points as Tara but that isn’t impressive because she only gave it a 12 and I gave it a 23. So we recommend you steer clear of this.

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