Asylum of the Dead (AKA The Lost Episode) (AKA Pennhurst) (2012)

Directed by Michael Rooker. Written by Joe Nelms and Sue Bailey. Starring Beverley Mitchell, Haylie Duff, J. Larose, Amanda Dunn and Michael Rooker as Dr. Death.

Plot: a film crew goes into an abandoned asylum and are tormented by the souls inside.

This movie starts outside of the asylum with a cop being killed and a little boy going missing. It doesn’t make sense, but hold onto your hat because nothing about this plot does. It jumps to a group of kids going into the asylum and then the kids start talking about a film crew that supposedly went missing inside the asylum a year earlier. Of course, this annoying hipster-like kid is the one who knows the whole story, so he’s the one talking most of the time and he’s just so annoying. But once he starts really talking, we jump back in time to the film crew’s excursion into the asylum.

A lot of the film is, of course, flashback. After telling the entire story about Dr. Death, a maniacal doctor who used to kill his patients, the hipster kid says that he killed the film crew, too. Then, they find out he’s still there and he’s all too real. For some reason, up till this point, they thought ghosts couldn’t hurt them. Why is that? Why do people assume ghosts can’t hurt you? Have they ever been a ghost? Do they know what ghosts can do? No. So, for the sake of your safety, just assume that ghosts may be able to hurt you.

I was expecting more from a movie directed by Michael Rooker and starring all these known celebrities. Beverley Mitchell and J. Larose did okay with what they had, but the rest were terrible. Even Rooker phoned in his part as Dr. Death. And although there were boob shots, they weren’t enough to save anything else.

My score: 17. DJ’s score: 23.

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