Maneater (2009)

Directed by Michael Emanuel. Written by Emanuel and John K. Anderson. Starring Dean Cain, Lacy Phillips, Stephen Ford, Christopher Darga, Saginaw Grant, Conrad Janis, Ellie Gerber, Maximillian Roeg and Nikki Moore.

Plot: a former FBI agent, now a small-town sheriff, profiles murders that may have been committed by a wendigo.

Harry Bailey (Cain) is raising his daughter, Pearl (Phillips) alone after his wife disappeared years ago. He acts like his wife is going to pop back in at any moment, but Pearl believes she’s dead. This causes strife between them, as does his strict behavior, which only gets worse after there’s a grizzly murder in town. The white folks believe it was a bear, but a lot of the Native Americans in the area believe it was the mythic wendigo.

Meanwhile, Pearl is going to church on Sunday, but drinking – underage – all the other days. She even throws a party behind her father’s back, inviting her slutty friends, Kay (Moore) and Buckly (Gerber). Also in attendance is their loser friend, Wahoo (Roeg) and the new kid in town, Todd (Ford), who Pearl throws her vagina at. Since Harry doesn’t trust Pearl, he sends one of his officers, Zeus (Darga), to spy on her and indeed he does. He’s so creepy he actually masturbates while watching two of kids have sex.

After the party, Kay goes missing and everyone goes searching for her, including the sheriff, some angry townspeople, Pearl and her friends. Of course, a bear is killed during this time, which I hated. We also hated how stupid a lot of the characters were. We didn’t really like anyone that much at all. There’s no real innovation, no rules and no Freddy Claws. The music was miserable and didn’t fit the scenes and the direction was awful, too. And the when the real killer is discovered it makes no sense.

The nice elements of the movie are few and far between and sometimes unintentional. Like, it’s unintentionally funny. It’s also realistic though, has lots of boobs and the creature was pretty terrific for such a low-budget movie. However, it was clear they spent all their money on the monster and not much else. It’s a ridiculous movie overall and we cannot recommend it.

My score: 24. DJ’s score: 21.

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