Ghoulies (1985)

Directed by Luca Bercovici. Written by Bercovici and Jefery Levy. Starring Peter Liapis, Lisa Pelikan, Michael Des Barres, Scott Thomson, Jack Nance and Mariska Hargitay.

Plot: a man inherits a house and a handful of demons who can get him what he truly wants – power.

Trying to see what people hated so much, we watched this god awful film and agree, it’s horrible. It starts off with Malcolm (Des Barres), a satanist, who is about to sacrifice his own son, Jonathan, when Jonathan’s mother stops him. Then, she gets sacrificed instead. Years later, Malcolm dies and as an adult, Jonathan (Liapis) inherits his father’s estate. His girlfriend Rebecca (Pelikan) moves in with him. During a party at their new house, Jonathan gets his friends to perform a ritual in the basement after finding some of his father’s old occult books. When nothing seems to have happened, his friends leave. But Malcolm’s ghost is still wandering around this old house and he soon influences Jonathan to perform more rituals. He eventually summons the Ghoulies and becomes their master. He wants power and they can help him get it, but his father’s ghost might have something to say about that.

One thing very wrong with this movie is how seriously it took itself. It wasn’t tongue-in-cheek really, there was no nudity and it wasn’t even unintentionally funny. Nothing was scary. They didn’t tell you much about the side characters, so no one’s death was tragic. There was no innovation, a weird, crap motive, a horrid script and obnoxious effects. Plus, it was unrealistic, most of the acting sucked and it was utterly and offensively boring. And were there even any rules? We think not.

Our score: 14.

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