Slaughterhouse Rulez (2018)

Directed by Crispian Mills. Written by Mills and Henry Fitzherbert. Starring Finn Cole, Asa Butterfield, Hermione Corfield, Michael Sheen, Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Tom Rhys Harries, Kit Connor and Margot Robbie.

Plot: an illustrious English boarding school becomes a battleground when a controversial fracking site causes a sinkhole and beasts come up from the ground.

This original story revolves around an English boarding school where Don (Cole) is sent after his father dies. His new roommate, Willoughby Blake (Butterfield), quickly fills him in on all the school happenings, except he leaves out the fact that his previous roommate committed suicide. When Don meets the headmaster known simply as The Bat (Sheen), he doesn’t like him at all. For good reason, too, because he’s not very likable. Turns out, he’s allowed a company to begin fracking on land very close to the school for monetary gain. This fracking will lead to disaster eventually, but first Don will have to deal with the school bully, Clegg (Harries), who informs Don that the girl he has a crush on, Clemsie (Corfield), is a goddess and way out of his league.

A teacher at the school, Meredith Houseman (Pegg), believes the fracking is a stupid idea. There’s also a protest group nearby that’s led by Woody Chapman (Frost), who wants the fracking site shut down. Their negative feelings about it all prove correct when gnarly man-eating creatures come out of a sinkhole the fracking creates. The Bat proves he’s useless pretty quickly, just as Meredith proves he’s not. And Clegg acts like an even bigger horror show than usual, claiming there’s a “new world order” now.

The ending was terrific. Even the little dog lived. The writing/dialogue was realistic with excellent actors portraying well-shaped characters. It wasn’t very scary, but it was funny as hell. The effects were really good, the direction was lovely and it followed all the rules it set up. DJ did feel it was a little slow to start and the bully bastards really annoyed me, but it all got way better during the second half. Many critics didn’t like this nearly as much as we did (if at all), but a lot of them said it was too “preachy”. We disagree that it was too preachy. Sure, they heavily imply that fracking is terrible, but since fracking IS terrible, just don’t watch it if you disagree with that particular statement. All in all, it’s pretty magnificent and you should totally watch it.

Our score: 77.

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