Hellraiser 8: Hellworld (2005)

Written by Joel Soisson and Carl V Dupre. Directed by Rick Bota. Starring Doug Bradley, Lance Henricksen, Kathryn Winnick, Henry Cavill and Christopher Jacot.

Plot: gamers playing a Hellraiser video game are invited to a party where, as it turns out, cenobites are real.

The writing is piss-poor, it’s just bad cliche after bad cliche. Despite the cast, the acting didn’t seem great, although that could be because of the atrocious writing. I will say Lance and Henry were fine. Asthma boy was ridiculous and unrealistic. He decides to go down several flights of stairs instead of just chilling the fuck out. My sister has asthma, we know how it works firsthand. His problem seems more mental than physical. They may have wanted us to laugh at different parts of this movie but we didn’t, it just seemed like they tried so we took off points. Somehow wanting to live in Miami makes someone a “typical male”, there’s that great writing I was talking about. The end credits song is suicide inducing, apparently someone is laughing now while standing tall and he explains it…at length. No one in this is likable. Kathryn Winnicks character is preachy but not bad to look at and Christopher Jacots character was a buzzkill. My sister does have a thing for him…ew lol.

We didn’t mind the story but the execution ruined it. No jump scares. We liked the cenobites and some of the kills were cool. We didn’t hate it but we didn’t like it either, we both gave it a 37/100.

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