The following movies all received zeros from us because they were so bad we were forced to turn them off before they were even over. We highly recommend that you just skip these films altogether. It’s just not worth the grief.
Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman (2000)
The first Jack Frost was bad enough, but the second was a trainwreck. The acting is terrible. The story is worse. Jack, a snowman, is now bonded to his victim psychically. He’s also existing in a tropical condition after following the link to his vacation paradise. Of course, he melts there so at one point only a floating carrot is killing people. That makes sense, right? Why no. No it doesn’t.
Brush With Death (2007)
In this movie 5 cheerleaders (yes, cheerleaders!) spend the weekend in one of their uncle’s houses, hear all about a horrific urban legend, proceed to ignore said legend and then pay the price with their lives. The acting in this is horrendous. The mentally challenged guy was just too much and the old guy made me sick. We turned it off about halfway through. To be honest, I’m suprised we made it that far.
Grim (1995)
Writer/director Paul Matthews gives us a story about a hideous creature living in a cave who can move through walls. Yes, it is as horrible as it sounds. The acting is frightfully bad. Scariest part of the whole movie. The effects are atrocious as well. Just wait till you see the monster.
Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest (1995)
I love the original Children of the Corn, but this one was ridiculous. I think it has turned us off to watching anymore COTC movies, at all, ever. The opening credit “sickle sequence” is annoying as hell. We actually know some of the actors that took part in this disgrace and are angry at them for sure. The whole thing was a joke really. And after the part where the Amish kid, who just so happens to be incredible at basketball, is told by his evil corn-loving brother to stop playing the game because it’s “against the rules”, we turned it off. Nothing about this movie made any sense at all.
The Haunting of Rebecca Verlaine (2003)
Also known as Garden of Love, this movie was directed and co-written by the apparently infamous, Olaf Ittenbach. He’s known for his splatter gore which I wish I had known going into this. The gore here was completely unrealistic and just gory for gore’s sake. We turned it off after only a few minutes. It was so, so stupid.
The Legend of Bloody Mary (2008)
Dear Stephen Macht, I have no idea why you agreed to this. The movie is about this guy who is plagued with nightmares after his sister disappears while playing Bloody Mary. And DJ and I had nightmares after watching some of this trash. It should apologize for everything including the sorry excuse for acting, the miserable CGI and third-rate script. It’s actually hard to place complete blame on the actors because the dialogue was so incompotently written. We cannot believe it took three whole people to write this filth.
Shallow Ground (2004)
Writer/director Sheldon Wilson gives us a strange and obnoxious story about a naked teenage boy, covered in blood, that walks into a sheriff’s station in the middle of nowhere, on the one year anniversary of a local girl going missing. The blood is tested and it’s several different people’s blood. The boy even looks like he’s several people rolled into one person. We watched a lot of this movie actually and still had no idea what was going on. The characters were unintelligent and unlikable. With 40 minutes left to the damn thing, we decided we just couldn’t handle anymore and turned it off. And a lot of that decision was based on the fact that they had “scary music” playing constantly, even when shit wasn’t scary. It was maddening. Pitiful.
House of Voices (AKA Saint Ange) (2004)
Pascal Laugier brings us this French movie. This dramatic movie. This confusing movie. That is simply NOT A HORROR MOVIE. They can call it horror all they want to, but it’s just a poorly done story about a woman who works in an orphanage – sans any actual orphans. There are ghosts – maybe – but no actual, living children. Of course, they do manage to throw in some drowned kittens for entertainment. You just can’t beat horror like that. *sarcasm, sarcasm*
Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers (1988) and Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland (1989)
This is definitely one of those reasons people say that sequels aren’t as good as the originals. We don’t usually follow that line of thought, but in this case it’s true. The original Sleepaway Camp is great and the ending still shocks the hell out of people on a regular basis. The second and third movies, however, only manage to shock you because of how bad they are. Angela comes back – now a different person playing her – and this time she’s killing anyone and everyone. There’s not a decent motive anymore. Both movies really let us down and while we recommend the original wholeheartedly, we say stop there. It’s really not worth it to continue on.
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