Mortuary (2005)

Directed by Tobe Hooper. Written by Jace Anderson and Adam Gierasch. Starring Denise Crosby, Dan Byrd, Stephanie Patton, Alexandra Adi and Bug Hall.

Plot: a family relocates to a mortuary and that obviously turns out to be a bad idea.

DJ thought this movie was stupid. I can’t necessarily disagree with him. In the movie, Jonathan (Byrd) tries to make new friends in his new town. When he does, Cal (Hall) tells him about Bobby Fowler, an abused, deformed boy who used to live where Jonathan now lives. And SPOILER ALERT…. he still does!

Fowler attacks Jonathan’s new friends and makes them spew rancid ooze as they become infected. Even Jonathan’s mother is infected and attacks her own children. But somewhere along the line they figure out that salt kills the infected. Apparently, it just doesn’t kill them enough. Because after pouring the salt into the giant well, Jonathan and his sister are still attacked and seemingly killed as though the salt did nothing.

So, what can I say besides it shit the bed? There was no motive. No rules. And splitting up is NEVER the answer. However, the direction wasn’t bad. But it usually isn’t from Hooper. And there’s one character, Rita, who made the movie bearable somewhat. We loved her. Clearly the best part, but not enough to recommend the movie.

My score: 38. DJ’s score: 25.

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