Our Rating System

We figured we should tell you a little bit about our rating system.  When I tell you we are dead serious about this, I mean we are dead serious.  We have 20 categories in which you can get 1-5 points, equaling up to 100 points if the movie is fucking stellar.

Some of the categories are obvious: acting, directing, effects, story line overall, continuity, etc. etc.  Other categories however, are completely our own.  For example, we have a category titled “Freddy Claws”.  Now “Freddy Claws” was of course made because of Nightmare on Elm St. and this is what it entails.  In Nightmare, no one believed Nancy.  Everyone ignored her, fell asleep when she needed them or flat out told her she was wrong.  This is annoying to us.  We prefer the protagonist to have someone believe them.  To have some help.  Take Shaun of the Dead for example.  Most of the people in the movie realize that there are zombies, that they do want to kill them and that Shaun has the best plan.  Even though it’s not completely true, the protagonist has help.  He has people that believe in him.  So, while Nightmare on Elm Street has very poor “Freddy Claws”, Shaun of the Dead has pretty good “Freddy Claws”.  Got it?  I hope so.

We also have categories for originality (surprise us, damn it!), likable protagonist (give us someone to root for!), innovation of murders (Jason always gets a 5), and jump/scares (if we scream, movie gets major points).

The last two categories I’ll share with you are LOL and Boob Shots.  Now, if we’re not supposed to laugh that’s fine, but if we’re supposed to and we don’t, NO POINTS FOR YOU!!  And if you can’t have boob shots because they’d be completely out of place, fine, but if it’s a movie with a bunch of cheerleaders having random sexual encounters and somehow we don’t see someone naked, NO POINTS FOR YOU!!

So, that’s how we do things in our world.  If you have questions, feel free to ask.

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