Directed by Vincent Masciale. Written by Luke Barnett. Starring Lucas Neff, Caitlin Stasey, Chris Marquette, Abigail Breslin, Mark Moses, Naomi Grossman, Patrick Renna, Richard Riehle and Leslie Jordan.
Plot: a horror junkie signs up with a company that brings your true fears to life
I am a horror junkie. My brother is a horror junkie. We’re proud of it. There are plenty of things in the world that scare us and sometimes it’s fun to be surrounded by such things. Whether it be watching a movie in a dark theater or going to a haunted house, things can creep us out. But what if those things stopped creeping us out? How far would we go to be scared? Well, the short answer is, not as far as the jackass in this movie.
A slacker (Neff) decides that he’s tired of the same old scares and wants to be truly terrified, so when someone hands him a card and says they’ll bring his fears to life, he’s aching to call. Right away though, his friends warn him against this, claiming that they know someone who’s been hurt this way. He says he won’t call and then does anyway. The scares start pretty quickly after that.
Now, we have to start by telling you this slacker isn’t real likable. He’s got a girlfriend that’s too good for him, some semi-responsible friends around him and he’s too busy doing every drug in the book to listen to them for a change. The premise is an interesting one, but since we weren’t rooting for this guy, it sort of fell flat. Plus, it was all very repetitive. There’s a lot of cat and mouse where the mouse runs, cat catches it, kills it, continues on to the next mouse. For a real scary experience I think you’d have to bring Pennywise to life for me or something more than a masked intruder. That’s just been done to death you know?
Anywho, there’s a good cast, it’s original and the effects are gore-tastic. But there’s no boobs and absolutely no Freddy Claws, so that brings it down. On top of that, the ending leaves a lot to be desired. It technically ends badly with the slacker having no real way to win the night. And since I’ve already told you this much, let’s just put the spoiler warning up and give up the whole thing.
Turns out, the guy’s friends were in on the whole thing from the jump. But that doesn’t matter in the end. The people that bring your fear to life have to kill you in the end or your fear really isn’t complete. Or some such nonsense as that. We didn’t like it. DJ doesn’t recommend it at all. I say, if you’re going to watch it go ahead, but don’t say we didn’t warn you.
I suppose I could list my favorite movies here, but instead I'll give you a strange glimpse into what makes me TaraRomero.
1. I met George Romero. He was the kindest and sweetest man. He talked to me for longer than he should have with the line getting longer. He also held my hand. And when he noticed the ladybug I have tattooed on my wrist, he said he liked it and asked me it's name. Till then, it had not had a name. Now, I call him George.
2. I love stickers. All stickers. I just adore them. I even ask for stickers for Christmas! As a matter of fact, the birthday that just past, every member of my immediate family gave me sticker packs as gifts. Affordable and extremely appreciated.
3. I have never put much stock in astrology or horoscopes, but I LOVE the magic of the MBTI. Omg. I am an INFP and it actually sounds just like me. Introverted mostly. Creative always. Heart before head and not the most logical. Totally me! For better or worse.
4. It's no surprise I count horror so high up on the list of things that make me, me. However, it's so within my soul that I was part of the Horror Club in college. Interesting bunch. And even took a Horror Lit class as an elective. I got an A.
5. Coffee always makes me happy. Always. I'm particularly fond of caramel macchiatos. But I'll drink black coffee if it's the only thing available.
6. I hate shock for the sake of shock and endings that depress me. I always mention the movies Within (2016) and the Eli Roth produced, written and starred in, Aftershock (2012), as proof of this distate I have. I abhor the idea that just because I like horror, some people think I'd actually praise a movie that lets you think the "Final Girl" just made it through the night, only to slap her in the face with a tsunami.
7. We are big time animal people. I mean, if I could, I'd have an elephant, a bear, a zebra, a penguin, an otter and a meerkat, living with me. Seriously though. We have 2 dogs right now and 2 cats. Both cats we picked up when they each came to our front door hungry. And both dogs we got from 2 different sets of neighbors. Both who, unfortunately, don't know how to care for pets long-term. But they're happy and healthy now!!
8. Revisiting my love of horror, one of the above cats, my cat, is a little black guy named Church. Because Pet Sematary. His middle name is even Pascow. To give credit where credit's due, the name was DJ's idea. But he loves horror too!
9. I'm big into art. Along with movie posters and an Anne Frank quote, I have some actual paintings on my wall. I really think Dali paints beautifully when he wants to. And if I don't get to see Michaelangelo's Pieta in person some day, I will be very disappointed.
10. Lastly, I find Emily Dickinson's poetry intriguing. I took an elective course about her as well. But do you know I injected horror even there? I was given a poem to dissect and I picked one on death, of course. Then, I researched old "Death Photos" and even printed out copies for everyone in the class. They were so interested in looking at them that it stopped them from all looking at me, and I was able to deal quite well with my stage fright. Haha
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