These 4 movies were mostly lauded on Rotten Tomatoes or some other such site, but we don’t get why. We were bored, disgusted, disappointed or confused. See if you agree.
EDEN LAKE (2008)
Hailed as “one of the most provocative and terrifying thrillers”, this brutal movie is about a couple on a romantic getaway that come across a violent gang of children. James Watkins directed the remake of The Woman in Black which we liked, so we were expecting more from this. However, it was unoriginal, a dog dies horribly and the end is shit. It was shock for shocks sake and we’re totally not into that. Do not watch if you’re squeamish. I’m angry with Michael Fassbender for taking part in this atrocity.
2. TERRIFIER (2017)
Art the Clown is not terrifying, he’s a mess. And he makes a big mess. Critics call it a “throwback” to the 80’s slasher, but we don’t see how. In the 80’s they never made such a mess. In the 80’s, motives were real and original and existed. In the 80’s, the slashers didn’t use guns. I am freaking horrified of clowns. Art even bothered me in the beginning, but by the time the movie was halfway in, I had lost all fear and was feeling hatred instead. Hatred for myself and DJ for turning the movie on in the first place.
3. THE WITCH (2015)
Written and directed by Robert Eggers, this movie centers around a family in 1630’s New England that is torn apart by black magic. Now, this is Eggers’s first movie, so maybe he’ll get better. We plan to give him another chance. However, this movie was boring and incestuous. And we were left wondering if Eggers had a problem with religion or just women in general? We definitely think he crossed some lines with this movie and we just weren’t into it.
4. THE DEN (2013)
So, a woman witnesses a murder on a chat site and then her friends start disappearing, too. The opening was good. Scary even. We had hope going forward. About halfway through though, we stopped caring about everyone and everything having to do with this movie. Sadly, I have to admit that we didn’t turn it off. I wish we had, but we didn’t. And OH! the end – so fucking unoriginal. Such a piece of crap. And nowhere near as horrifying as the beginning suggested it would be.
I suppose I could list my favorite movies here, but instead I'll give you a strange glimpse into what makes me TaraRomero.
1. I met George Romero. He was the kindest and sweetest man. He talked to me for longer than he should have with the line getting longer. He also held my hand. And when he noticed the ladybug I have tattooed on my wrist, he said he liked it and asked me it's name. Till then, it had not had a name. Now, I call him George.
2. I love stickers. All stickers. I just adore them. I even ask for stickers for Christmas! As a matter of fact, the birthday that just past, every member of my immediate family gave me sticker packs as gifts. Affordable and extremely appreciated.
3. I have never put much stock in astrology or horoscopes, but I LOVE the magic of the MBTI. Omg. I am an INFP and it actually sounds just like me. Introverted mostly. Creative always. Heart before head and not the most logical. Totally me! For better or worse.
4. It's no surprise I count horror so high up on the list of things that make me, me. However, it's so within my soul that I was part of the Horror Club in college. Interesting bunch. And even took a Horror Lit class as an elective. I got an A.
5. Coffee always makes me happy. Always. I'm particularly fond of caramel macchiatos. But I'll drink black coffee if it's the only thing available.
6. I hate shock for the sake of shock and endings that depress me. I always mention the movies Within (2016) and the Eli Roth produced, written and starred in, Aftershock (2012), as proof of this distate I have. I abhor the idea that just because I like horror, some people think I'd actually praise a movie that lets you think the "Final Girl" just made it through the night, only to slap her in the face with a tsunami.
7. We are big time animal people. I mean, if I could, I'd have an elephant, a bear, a zebra, a penguin, an otter and a meerkat, living with me. Seriously though. We have 2 dogs right now and 2 cats. Both cats we picked up when they each came to our front door hungry. And both dogs we got from 2 different sets of neighbors. Both who, unfortunately, don't know how to care for pets long-term. But they're happy and healthy now!!
8. Revisiting my love of horror, one of the above cats, my cat, is a little black guy named Church. Because Pet Sematary. His middle name is even Pascow. To give credit where credit's due, the name was DJ's idea. But he loves horror too!
9. I'm big into art. Along with movie posters and an Anne Frank quote, I have some actual paintings on my wall. I really think Dali paints beautifully when he wants to. And if I don't get to see Michaelangelo's Pieta in person some day, I will be very disappointed.
10. Lastly, I find Emily Dickinson's poetry intriguing. I took an elective course about her as well. But do you know I injected horror even there? I was given a poem to dissect and I picked one on death, of course. Then, I researched old "Death Photos" and even printed out copies for everyone in the class. They were so interested in looking at them that it stopped them from all looking at me, and I was able to deal quite well with my stage fright. Haha
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