Written and directed by Kim Henkel. Starring Renee Zellweger, Matthew McConaughey, Tonie Perensky, Joe Stevens and Robert Jacks as “Leatherface”.
Plot: a group of teenagers crash their car on prom night and wind up in the clutches of the serial killing Sawyer family.
Now, this Chainsaw movie is one of our least favorites. Before I delve into why, let me tell you a little about the plot (if you can call it that). Four teenagers leave their prom after two of them get into a fight. They are just the dumbest teenagers ever, but one of them, Jenny (Zellweger), will be the “final girl”. Driving along, they end up taking a detour and they get into an accident with another vehicle, leaving that driver unconscious. So, while Jenny, and two friends go for help, the last friend, Sean, stays behind to watch over the passed out driver. Good plan? Of course not.
Jenny and her friends meet Darla (Perensky), an insurance agent, working in a little trailer that doesn’t look like it belongs where it is. She just happens to have a boyfriend, Vilmer (McConaughey), who is a tow truck driver. She calls him to help, but can they be trusted? Of course not. Vilmer is a crazy person and when he comes to the scene of the accident, he runs Sean over. Jenny and her friends get separated while walking back to the accident because it’s so dark out. Then, Leatherface (Jacks) shows up.
Popular opinion is that McConaughey acted in an over-the-top fashion, but if anything, we think that award went to Jacks. As Leatherface, he spent the entire movie screaming for, usually, no reason. We didn’t enjoy that at all. Besides that, another crazy family member, W.E. (Stevens), just quotes people the whole movie. It’s awful and quite distracting. We’re guessing that it was actually the directing that was over-the-top though, which is why so much of the acting seemed so exaggerated.
There was a well-placed boob shot. It was funny, both intentionally and unintentionally. It was also very interesting to see where McConaughey and Zellweger started their careers and the types of characters they started out portraying. But the rest of the film wasn’t really compelling at all. There were too many “what the fuck!?” moments. Like when they squeeze in the connection to the original movie out of nowhere. Or when the “illuminati” like group shows up to explain the family’s behavior in a completely unreasonable way. Or really the entire ending as a whole attempting to create some innovative rules that just made DJ laugh so hard he found it nauseating to even score the movie after it was over. Suffice it to say, it didn’t get many points from either of us.
I suppose I could list my favorite movies here, but instead I'll give you a strange glimpse into what makes me TaraRomero.
1. I met George Romero. He was the kindest and sweetest man. He talked to me for longer than he should have with the line getting longer. He also held my hand. And when he noticed the ladybug I have tattooed on my wrist, he said he liked it and asked me it's name. Till then, it had not had a name. Now, I call him George.
2. I love stickers. All stickers. I just adore them. I even ask for stickers for Christmas! As a matter of fact, the birthday that just past, every member of my immediate family gave me sticker packs as gifts. Affordable and extremely appreciated.
3. I have never put much stock in astrology or horoscopes, but I LOVE the magic of the MBTI. Omg. I am an INFP and it actually sounds just like me. Introverted mostly. Creative always. Heart before head and not the most logical. Totally me! For better or worse.
4. It's no surprise I count horror so high up on the list of things that make me, me. However, it's so within my soul that I was part of the Horror Club in college. Interesting bunch. And even took a Horror Lit class as an elective. I got an A.
5. Coffee always makes me happy. Always. I'm particularly fond of caramel macchiatos. But I'll drink black coffee if it's the only thing available.
6. I hate shock for the sake of shock and endings that depress me. I always mention the movies Within (2016) and the Eli Roth produced, written and starred in, Aftershock (2012), as proof of this distate I have. I abhor the idea that just because I like horror, some people think I'd actually praise a movie that lets you think the "Final Girl" just made it through the night, only to slap her in the face with a tsunami.
7. We are big time animal people. I mean, if I could, I'd have an elephant, a bear, a zebra, a penguin, an otter and a meerkat, living with me. Seriously though. We have 2 dogs right now and 2 cats. Both cats we picked up when they each came to our front door hungry. And both dogs we got from 2 different sets of neighbors. Both who, unfortunately, don't know how to care for pets long-term. But they're happy and healthy now!!
8. Revisiting my love of horror, one of the above cats, my cat, is a little black guy named Church. Because Pet Sematary. His middle name is even Pascow. To give credit where credit's due, the name was DJ's idea. But he loves horror too!
9. I'm big into art. Along with movie posters and an Anne Frank quote, I have some actual paintings on my wall. I really think Dali paints beautifully when he wants to. And if I don't get to see Michaelangelo's Pieta in person some day, I will be very disappointed.
10. Lastly, I find Emily Dickinson's poetry intriguing. I took an elective course about her as well. But do you know I injected horror even there? I was given a poem to dissect and I picked one on death, of course. Then, I researched old "Death Photos" and even printed out copies for everyone in the class. They were so interested in looking at them that it stopped them from all looking at me, and I was able to deal quite well with my stage fright. Haha
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