Directed by Tobe Hooper. Written by Jace Anderson, Boaz Davidson, Michael D. Weiss and Adam Gieresch. Starring Caitlin Martin, Mark McLachlan, Chris Solari, Julie Mintz, D. W. Reiser and Greg Wayne.
Plot: a giant crocodile ruins the fun weekend of a group of friends partying on a boat.
Two hicks are playing around with some eggs and it turns out they belong to this famed monster of a crocodile, so they both get eaten right away. The party goers arrive and start telling ghost stories. Most of the guys are dicks and most of the girls are stupid. I mean, even the “smart one” makes some stupid comment when someone mentions a Harlen Clemens and she’s like, “Isn’t that Mark Twain’s real name?”
Anyway, two of the dicks find the eggs and puts in the smart one’s, Claire’s (Martin) bag. So, the crocodile comes looking for her egg and that’s when the shit hits the fan.
DJ said it was like everyone that got rejected for Melrose Place decided to make a horror movie. We’re honestly surprised it took so many people to write this and we’re really surprised that Hooper directed it. I mean, the crocodile looks pretty good considering the obvious lack of a real budget. But the science needs some work. Although, it is a magical crocodile, so we’ll give it points anyway.
It was funny. And the rules were actually pretty good. If you returned the egg, you were golden. So, surprisingly, we gave it a pretty rad score and suggest you see it if you want to have some laughs.
I suppose I could list my favorite movies here, but instead I'll give you a strange glimpse into what makes me TaraRomero.
1. I met George Romero. He was the kindest and sweetest man. He talked to me for longer than he should have with the line getting longer. He also held my hand. And when he noticed the ladybug I have tattooed on my wrist, he said he liked it and asked me it's name. Till then, it had not had a name. Now, I call him George.
2. I love stickers. All stickers. I just adore them. I even ask for stickers for Christmas! As a matter of fact, the birthday that just past, every member of my immediate family gave me sticker packs as gifts. Affordable and extremely appreciated.
3. I have never put much stock in astrology or horoscopes, but I LOVE the magic of the MBTI. Omg. I am an INFP and it actually sounds just like me. Introverted mostly. Creative always. Heart before head and not the most logical. Totally me! For better or worse.
4. It's no surprise I count horror so high up on the list of things that make me, me. However, it's so within my soul that I was part of the Horror Club in college. Interesting bunch. And even took a Horror Lit class as an elective. I got an A.
5. Coffee always makes me happy. Always. I'm particularly fond of caramel macchiatos. But I'll drink black coffee if it's the only thing available.
6. I hate shock for the sake of shock and endings that depress me. I always mention the movies Within (2016) and the Eli Roth produced, written and starred in, Aftershock (2012), as proof of this distate I have. I abhor the idea that just because I like horror, some people think I'd actually praise a movie that lets you think the "Final Girl" just made it through the night, only to slap her in the face with a tsunami.
7. We are big time animal people. I mean, if I could, I'd have an elephant, a bear, a zebra, a penguin, an otter and a meerkat, living with me. Seriously though. We have 2 dogs right now and 2 cats. Both cats we picked up when they each came to our front door hungry. And both dogs we got from 2 different sets of neighbors. Both who, unfortunately, don't know how to care for pets long-term. But they're happy and healthy now!!
8. Revisiting my love of horror, one of the above cats, my cat, is a little black guy named Church. Because Pet Sematary. His middle name is even Pascow. To give credit where credit's due, the name was DJ's idea. But he loves horror too!
9. I'm big into art. Along with movie posters and an Anne Frank quote, I have some actual paintings on my wall. I really think Dali paints beautifully when he wants to. And if I don't get to see Michaelangelo's Pieta in person some day, I will be very disappointed.
10. Lastly, I find Emily Dickinson's poetry intriguing. I took an elective course about her as well. But do you know I injected horror even there? I was given a poem to dissect and I picked one on death, of course. Then, I researched old "Death Photos" and even printed out copies for everyone in the class. They were so interested in looking at them that it stopped them from all looking at me, and I was able to deal quite well with my stage fright. Haha
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