Directed by Levan Bakhia and Beqa Jguburia. Written by Bakhia and Lloyd S. Wagner. Starring Scout Taylor-Compton, Travis Van Winkle, Christina Ulloa, Michael Copon and Tyler Mane.
Plot: four friends travel to a remote lakeside cabin with a really strange outdoor sauna room that three of them become trapped in.
“Based on True Events” always scares me and DJ. After disliking the first 10,000 trueevents, we’re a little gun shy when we see that pop onto the screen. Still, we go in hoping. Because that’s what horror movie lovers do. We hope. We hope we’ll be scared. We hope for cool death scenes. We hope that the actors can pull off realistic reactions to dead bodies. In this film, our hopes were dashed.
DJ has a really hard time even considering this a horror movie. It’s hard to even call it a thriller because none of the tension is actually all that tense. In the movie, Jenna (Taylor-Compton), her best friend, Renee (Ulloa), Renee’s boyfriend, Michael (Copon) and Michael’s friend, Ian (Winkle), go to a cabin owned by Ian’s uncle, Wade (Mane). Before Wade leaves for work, he gives Michael some marijuana. Michael gets ridiculous and attempts to sleep with Renee, but she refuses because of his ridiculous behavior. So, he leaves and the other three enter the sauna Wade built.
Honestly, once they realize they are stuck, it becomes annoying quite fast. We felt really bad for Ian though as both Jenna and Renee scream and cry at him to fix things. But he can’t because he’s not a miracle worker. So, they are trapped, they are hot and they are screaming at Ian to solve the crisis all by his lonesome. The one piece of advice he gives them though, is not to touch the temperature controller as he believes it will make the heat worse. What do they do though? They break the damn controller. And what happens? The temperature spikes. Geez Louise are these chicks stupid.
After watching the three melt for an hour, one of them finally dies in the dumbest way. They don’t listen to each other at all, so there’s no Freddy Claws. It’s a movie all about girls trapped in a sauna and there’s no boob shots. The end sucks, too. One of them fake cries in the worst way. Not a very good actor. We were pissed off having wasted our time watching it. It was well made though and Travis was a dear. But that’s all the good there was really.
I suppose I could list my favorite movies here, but instead I'll give you a strange glimpse into what makes me TaraRomero.
1. I met George Romero. He was the kindest and sweetest man. He talked to me for longer than he should have with the line getting longer. He also held my hand. And when he noticed the ladybug I have tattooed on my wrist, he said he liked it and asked me it's name. Till then, it had not had a name. Now, I call him George.
2. I love stickers. All stickers. I just adore them. I even ask for stickers for Christmas! As a matter of fact, the birthday that just past, every member of my immediate family gave me sticker packs as gifts. Affordable and extremely appreciated.
3. I have never put much stock in astrology or horoscopes, but I LOVE the magic of the MBTI. Omg. I am an INFP and it actually sounds just like me. Introverted mostly. Creative always. Heart before head and not the most logical. Totally me! For better or worse.
4. It's no surprise I count horror so high up on the list of things that make me, me. However, it's so within my soul that I was part of the Horror Club in college. Interesting bunch. And even took a Horror Lit class as an elective. I got an A.
5. Coffee always makes me happy. Always. I'm particularly fond of caramel macchiatos. But I'll drink black coffee if it's the only thing available.
6. I hate shock for the sake of shock and endings that depress me. I always mention the movies Within (2016) and the Eli Roth produced, written and starred in, Aftershock (2012), as proof of this distate I have. I abhor the idea that just because I like horror, some people think I'd actually praise a movie that lets you think the "Final Girl" just made it through the night, only to slap her in the face with a tsunami.
7. We are big time animal people. I mean, if I could, I'd have an elephant, a bear, a zebra, a penguin, an otter and a meerkat, living with me. Seriously though. We have 2 dogs right now and 2 cats. Both cats we picked up when they each came to our front door hungry. And both dogs we got from 2 different sets of neighbors. Both who, unfortunately, don't know how to care for pets long-term. But they're happy and healthy now!!
8. Revisiting my love of horror, one of the above cats, my cat, is a little black guy named Church. Because Pet Sematary. His middle name is even Pascow. To give credit where credit's due, the name was DJ's idea. But he loves horror too!
9. I'm big into art. Along with movie posters and an Anne Frank quote, I have some actual paintings on my wall. I really think Dali paints beautifully when he wants to. And if I don't get to see Michaelangelo's Pieta in person some day, I will be very disappointed.
10. Lastly, I find Emily Dickinson's poetry intriguing. I took an elective course about her as well. But do you know I injected horror even there? I was given a poem to dissect and I picked one on death, of course. Then, I researched old "Death Photos" and even printed out copies for everyone in the class. They were so interested in looking at them that it stopped them from all looking at me, and I was able to deal quite well with my stage fright. Haha
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