Directed by Matt Cooper, Martin Kunert and David Semel. Written by Cooper, Kunert and Eric Manes. Starring Amy Smart, Christine Taylor, Christopher Masterson, Devon Odessa, Glenn Quinn, Hawthorne James, Jacinda Barrett, James Marsden, Jay R. Ferguson, Jennifer Macdonald, Jonathan Fuller, Kim Murphy, Ron Livingston and Alex McKenna.
Plot: 4 young people, stranded on the side of the road, decide to tell scary stories to pass the time until help arrives.
I love urban legends. Just eat ’em all up. I think, when told well, they’re some of the best stories in the world. These are stories that have been told throughout human history and handed down over and over to scare generations upon generations. Of course, not all of the tellings nowadays are acceptable or even scary, but this film does a really good job. A better job than most really, even than the 1998 mess titled, simply, Urban Legend. I love Joshua Jackson, but man did that suck. And while none of these stories may come as a shock to you, I insist that they are worth watching.
The movie begins with “The Hook”. It’s a classic that I’m thinking everyone and their own grandmother has heard before. There’s a slight alteration to the ending, but it’s basically what we’re familiar with. It’s not given a ton of time or attention, however, since it turns out to be the first and only story these young people creep each other out with while actually driving. Soon after that, they get into an accident and are run off the road by someone who doesn’t even bother to stop. Having nothing to do while they wait for another car to pass by, they find what looks to be a burnt down old church, start up a fire and then really try to scare each other.
The four young people are Cliff (Ferguson), Lauren (Taylor), Eric (Masterson) and Alex (Murphy). Lauren is the link that joins them all. Eric is her younger brother, Alex is her bestie and Cliff is her boyfriend. Sometimes these three get along well together, other times, they do not. Cliff likes to play pranks and while Eric joins him in on some of them, Alex never seems to enjoy him or his brand of humor. Granted, he’s immature, but she desperately needs to take the stick pulled out of her ass, in my humble opinion. It shouldn’t surprise you then, that the first two stories told around this fire, are told by Cliff.
The story he tells first is “The Honeymoon”. A couple who have just married are driving across country in an RV. Rick (Livingston, who I adore and think is adorable) and Valerie (Macdonald, who I actually remember from a very memorable episode of “The Red Shoe Diaries”, and I admit that without shame, LOL) are in Nevada, when they decide to stop to see some caverns, which is completely Rick’s idea as she doesn’t care about them at all. She loves him though, so she’s okay with the stop. They see some things, have some sex and then they are very suddenly disturbed by a strange man named Cole (James), who begs them to leave the area immediately and not to stop for any reason till they hit the highway again. He also chooses to tell them that his wife broke down in this same area some time ago and he never saw her again. They never even found her body. Why he was in the area, he never says, but he does admit that it was creatures who killed his wife. Creatures that hunt at night and are never seen during the daylight. Creatures that live in the very woods they’re standing in.
Sadly, this all sounds very exaggerated to Rick, who agrees to leave the area, but doesn’t at all believe that there are any creatures out in the woods killing people. He laughs that part off. Valerie is scared though, so Rick tries to calm her by saying that it is Cole who is most likely crazy and that the creatures are only living in his mind. In any case, Rick and Valerie head towards the highway, but then they stall and with a little investigation, Rick finds that their gas has been siphoned. Assuming it was Cole who did it, Rick tells Valerie he’s going to walk to the station, get more gas, and come straight back. Now, without giving the whole thing away, you should know very well that Rick is not coming back. That his last words to Valerie, “I love you”, will stay with her forever. Which, honestly, makes this story as sad as it is frightening. And the end, oh how I love the end. Not in it’s sadness, but in the approach of the poor, little man that comes to rescue Valerie in the morning. Bless his kind, yet naive, large heart.
Overall, DJ thought Rick was too stupid and Freddy Claws was absent altogether. I cannot really argue either. Maybe if he had stayed in the RV and not made wrong assumptions about Cole, the story wouldn’t have been such a story at all. It was, in a sad way, all too realistic. The cast was great, the effects were almost TOO great, and I’ll admit, I always need a blanket to get through that last bit. LOL
The next story Cliff tells is our least favorite. Not because it’s a horribly told story, but more because it is too realistic and too damaging. Especially to DJ’s level of comfort and my love of all animals. “People Can Lick, Too” follows Amanda (McKenna), a little girl about to turn 12. Her parents are going out for the evening and she’s being left with her teenage sister, Katherine (Odessa), who isn’t as responsible as her mother believes she is. She’s only really interested in wearing intense boob shirts and slipping out with her friends, threatening Amanda if she tells on her. Amanda doesn’t care too much though. She has her loyal dog, Odin (who is named completely wrong, as he fails, not only to know all, but even to see bad shit directly in front of him) and her new friend Jessica, who’s she been chatting online with all day.
Now, this is early an early internet story, so it’s a rather simple “dangers in the chat room” sort of tale. A story so obvious to those of us that remember chat rooms. Jessica is not a little girl at all, but a grown ass, pedo who now knows that Amanda is all alone. It’s scary, no doubt about it. But sadly, the only one that really suffers due to Amanda’s idiocy and Katherine’s irresponsibility is Odin. The dog does not live and I hate when that happens. And don’t show me the godforsaken body! I don’t need to see that! Suddenly, Odin is every dog I’ve ever had and I’ve had plenty. Good thing the creeper is in this made up story and not in my home. Because I can assure you, in all seriousness, once I found my dog murdered and bloody, I would have killed that bitch ass intruder with my bare hands.
The last story told is “The Locket”, and it’s not Cliff that narrates this time, but Alex. This story is the one we knew the least about going in. Scott Anderson (Quinn, may he RIP) is traveling, on a motorcycle, to anywhere and everywhere. He just felt stuck and wants to feel free. But a storm comes and he sees a farmhouse in the distance. It’s the only house he sees actually, so he goes there seeking shelter. He begins having strange visions as soon as he reaches the mailbox and he has some more when he reaches the door. But when the young and beautiful, Heather (Barrett), opens up the door, his anxieties leave him. He falls in love with her immediately, even though she is mute and even though she has no phone and even though she wears a necklace she refuses to talk about.
Heather speaks to him with a small chalkboard she writes on. And during the night, after they share a passionate kiss, Scott witnesses Heather’s burly father come home. Then, he hears screaming, arguing, and he runs down the stairs, finding two bloody bodies on the floor. Then, her father comes at him. He runs away and finds Heather alive, even unhurt. She writes that people have died in the house and Scott is like “duh” and he wants to leave and he wants her to leave with him. She decides to go with him and I would really love to tell you the rather disturbing and heartbreaking ending for them, but I won’t. Just know not to expect a happy one. The secrets within her locket are unbelievable. However, they’re also unexplained. It doesn’t really make a lot of sense when or why it all shakes out the way it does, and why she doesn’t even seem to know it was going to happen as it did. It left us with more questions than answers, so although we like the story, it wasn’t our favorite.
Honestly, the not-completely-surprising end in which the “Campfire Wraparound” is revealed to be another horror story of it’s own, it’s a close second to “The Honeymoon” for both DJ and me. It was really well done and well acted. We like the small details put in to hint at the inevitable ending without actually telling you what’s happening in real time. These four aren’t really likable characters, but the realism and the nuance of the writing is so good that I wouldn’t change a thing. Not one thing.
All in all, there were positives and negatives as with most anthologies, but we really think this is one of the ones worth watching. Sure, most of the characters are stupid, but aren’t they always in horror movies? It’s a forgivable aspect is all I’m saying. It is creepy enough to include as a pick for Halloween viewing. It’s also presently available on Prime, and that is not always the case. This is usually very difficult to find, so jump on it while you can!
My score: 75. DJ’s score: 67.
“God, I hate having an imagination.”
BLOOD RED REVIEWS 