Possibly one of the worst Films To Die For. We will die if we ever have to watch it again. A kid with a camera, some nasty incestuous sex scenes and a “surprise” ending that is fucking bullshit! If DJ had known it was just a vampire story, he never would have sat down to watch it with me. 0/100.
A victim of The Hamiltons.
2. Hayride (2012)
Dear someone who knows, why did we watch the whole thing? Nobody is seen dying. Nobody makes any good decisions. Nobody shows boobs. It was not original. It was not realistic. And it angered us. It angered us. Why would we sit through that?
Never again I say. Never again. 0/100.
Yes, that is the bad guy from Kindergarten Cop.
3. Heebie Jeebies (2013)
Let me tell you a little story about an overprotective Asian grandmother who lets her granddaughter out one night. Then, she ends up telling this crazy story about a mine to a bunch of kids. It’s a scary story, obviously (sort of). And then, when asked where her granddaughter is, she says, “Somewhere called The Mine?”
WHAT?!!
Does she really think a nice restaurant called The Mine opened up in this small ass Southern town? She doesn’t realize her granddaughter is at the same crazy mine as in her story? Suffice it to say, the writing is horrible. 10/100 only cause laughable.
4. Hollow (2012)
It’s all really Blair Witch/Paranormal Activity. Like, there’s not even titles in the beginning, which should have ran us off, but sadly did not. There are 2 couples, Emma’s with Scott and Lynne is with James. But James is really in love with Emma and Lynne is really into Scott and Scott is really an asshole and no one is likable. This movie even has an “I am so scared” crying scene. Hand to god. And the end may or may not imply that James is the killer, but how is beyond us. 10/100.
“If you thought this place was genuinely evil, then why did you bring us here?” – GREAT QUESTION!!!
5. Housebound (2014)
This is controversial because apparently this movie is loved by others, but ugh, did we hate it! It’s won awards and everything and just ugh. Ugh. The main girl starts out a bitch, there’s little to nothing of anything going on, it’s not funny, it’s not scary, it’s NOT a horror/comedy at all. 0/100.
I suppose I could list my favorite movies here, but instead I'll give you a strange glimpse into what makes me TaraRomero.
1. I met George Romero. He was the kindest and sweetest man. He talked to me for longer than he should have with the line getting longer. He also held my hand. And when he noticed the ladybug I have tattooed on my wrist, he said he liked it and asked me it's name. Till then, it had not had a name. Now, I call him George.
2. I love stickers. All stickers. I just adore them. I even ask for stickers for Christmas! As a matter of fact, the birthday that just past, every member of my immediate family gave me sticker packs as gifts. Affordable and extremely appreciated.
3. I have never put much stock in astrology or horoscopes, but I LOVE the magic of the MBTI. Omg. I am an INFP and it actually sounds just like me. Introverted mostly. Creative always. Heart before head and not the most logical. Totally me! For better or worse.
4. It's no surprise I count horror so high up on the list of things that make me, me. However, it's so within my soul that I was part of the Horror Club in college. Interesting bunch. And even took a Horror Lit class as an elective. I got an A.
5. Coffee always makes me happy. Always. I'm particularly fond of caramel macchiatos. But I'll drink black coffee if it's the only thing available.
6. I hate shock for the sake of shock and endings that depress me. I always mention the movies Within (2016) and the Eli Roth produced, written and starred in, Aftershock (2012), as proof of this distate I have. I abhor the idea that just because I like horror, some people think I'd actually praise a movie that lets you think the "Final Girl" just made it through the night, only to slap her in the face with a tsunami.
7. We are big time animal people. I mean, if I could, I'd have an elephant, a bear, a zebra, a penguin, an otter and a meerkat, living with me. Seriously though. We have 2 dogs right now and 2 cats. Both cats we picked up when they each came to our front door hungry. And both dogs we got from 2 different sets of neighbors. Both who, unfortunately, don't know how to care for pets long-term. But they're happy and healthy now!!
8. Revisiting my love of horror, one of the above cats, my cat, is a little black guy named Church. Because Pet Sematary. His middle name is even Pascow. To give credit where credit's due, the name was DJ's idea. But he loves horror too!
9. I'm big into art. Along with movie posters and an Anne Frank quote, I have some actual paintings on my wall. I really think Dali paints beautifully when he wants to. And if I don't get to see Michaelangelo's Pieta in person some day, I will be very disappointed.
10. Lastly, I find Emily Dickinson's poetry intriguing. I took an elective course about her as well. But do you know I injected horror even there? I was given a poem to dissect and I picked one on death, of course. Then, I researched old "Death Photos" and even printed out copies for everyone in the class. They were so interested in looking at them that it stopped them from all looking at me, and I was able to deal quite well with my stage fright. Haha
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