Directed by Bobby Roe. Written by Bobby Roe, Zack Andrews, Jason Zada and Jeff Larson. Starring Roe, Andrews and Larson. Also, Bobby’s brother, Mikey Roe.
Plot: 5 people go on a tour of haunted houses and find an “extreme” one that’s a little too realistic.
In this found footage film, a group of friends head South to visit some of the scariest haunted houses in report. They are recording their experiences, of course. While they start with more straight-forward haunted houses, there real goal is to head to the most extreme ones, namely one called “Blue Skeleton”.
Most of the problem with this movie is that we didn’t like anyone. The group of 5 is filled with dicks like Zack, who just have to see the most extreme everything, and whiners like Brandy, who the film treats inconsistently. One minute everyone wants to take care of Brandy, the next minute they’re all sure she’ll be okay on her own. Our favorite character (and actor for that matter – he was the only one we believed) was Mikey. But we were even annoyed at him for not eventually saying, “No, dude, I’m not doing it.”
The characters also didn’t have any fight in them. Like, this is survival people. You fight till you can’t fight no more. And they were consistently wrong about facts they were talking about. When they said that no zombie had shot a gun in the history of cinema, it almost killed us. Are we pretending that “Bub” and Day of the Dead aren’t a thing? And really, what were they expecting from these haunts anyway? They allow themselves to go to extreme places and then whine the whole time. I mean, me and DJ wouldn’t have been there. All we need is a clown and an old lady chasing us around for about two minutes and we’re good the whole rest of the year.
Speaking of which, the movie was creepy in parts. We liked going through some of the houses with them. It reminded us of our own Halloween traditions. But we were expecting better after that first clown and we were let down with the weak, non-scary, second half.
There was just too much wrong with this movie for us to recommend it. There was no motive because you don’t even know who they are. There was also no rules, BS characters and a horrible soundtrack. So tires of metal being used like it’s so scary when really it’s been done to death.
I suppose I could list my favorite movies here, but instead I'll give you a strange glimpse into what makes me TaraRomero.
1. I met George Romero. He was the kindest and sweetest man. He talked to me for longer than he should have with the line getting longer. He also held my hand. And when he noticed the ladybug I have tattooed on my wrist, he said he liked it and asked me it's name. Till then, it had not had a name. Now, I call him George.
2. I love stickers. All stickers. I just adore them. I even ask for stickers for Christmas! As a matter of fact, the birthday that just past, every member of my immediate family gave me sticker packs as gifts. Affordable and extremely appreciated.
3. I have never put much stock in astrology or horoscopes, but I LOVE the magic of the MBTI. Omg. I am an INFP and it actually sounds just like me. Introverted mostly. Creative always. Heart before head and not the most logical. Totally me! For better or worse.
4. It's no surprise I count horror so high up on the list of things that make me, me. However, it's so within my soul that I was part of the Horror Club in college. Interesting bunch. And even took a Horror Lit class as an elective. I got an A.
5. Coffee always makes me happy. Always. I'm particularly fond of caramel macchiatos. But I'll drink black coffee if it's the only thing available.
6. I hate shock for the sake of shock and endings that depress me. I always mention the movies Within (2016) and the Eli Roth produced, written and starred in, Aftershock (2012), as proof of this distate I have. I abhor the idea that just because I like horror, some people think I'd actually praise a movie that lets you think the "Final Girl" just made it through the night, only to slap her in the face with a tsunami.
7. We are big time animal people. I mean, if I could, I'd have an elephant, a bear, a zebra, a penguin, an otter and a meerkat, living with me. Seriously though. We have 2 dogs right now and 2 cats. Both cats we picked up when they each came to our front door hungry. And both dogs we got from 2 different sets of neighbors. Both who, unfortunately, don't know how to care for pets long-term. But they're happy and healthy now!!
8. Revisiting my love of horror, one of the above cats, my cat, is a little black guy named Church. Because Pet Sematary. His middle name is even Pascow. To give credit where credit's due, the name was DJ's idea. But he loves horror too!
9. I'm big into art. Along with movie posters and an Anne Frank quote, I have some actual paintings on my wall. I really think Dali paints beautifully when he wants to. And if I don't get to see Michaelangelo's Pieta in person some day, I will be very disappointed.
10. Lastly, I find Emily Dickinson's poetry intriguing. I took an elective course about her as well. But do you know I injected horror even there? I was given a poem to dissect and I picked one on death, of course. Then, I researched old "Death Photos" and even printed out copies for everyone in the class. They were so interested in looking at them that it stopped them from all looking at me, and I was able to deal quite well with my stage fright. Haha
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