Written and directed by Jose Prendes. Starring Alex Arleo, Stephanie Greco, Arielle Brachfeld, Graham Denman, Carolina Grappa, Jason Owsley, Howard McNair, Ralph William Tarr and Maria Olsen.
Plot: a tour guide breaks herself and some friends into a haunted house to do a bit of ghosting… and shit goes awry.
In this unintentional comedy, Penny (Greco) is a tour guide for the actually infamous Whaley House in San Diego. She is skeptical that ghosts even exist though. Most of her friends however, want to believe. So, when a woman on one of her tours has a seizure and claims she saw something, her friends convince her to take them into Whaley House after it closes for the night. Her boyfriend, Alex (Arleo), and his friend, Craig (Denman), are really in awe of the place. Craig’s black cousin (???), Ray (Owsley), is also excited when he is invited. So excited that he brings a famous psychic, Keith Drummond (McNair), with him. He’s black, too, which we want to point out is just too convenient. The only invited black guy brings another black guy who happens to be psychic and British? What? Anyway, there’s also two other girls that come, Vanessa (Brachfeld), Craig’s girlfriend, and Giselle (Grappa), both of whom get way too upset, way too quickly.
Once in the house, they all attempt to talk to the ghosts in the house. Turns out that the whole Whaley family is haunting the place, but Penny still won’t believe, even when things start moving on their own. Then, one of them accidentally falls down the stairs and dies. Then, they can’t get out of the house at all. Then, there’s shaking, crying, yelling and more dying.
Penny has got to be the most annoying character of them all, even ahead of Vanessa and Giselle, and of course she’s the main girl. So, there’s annoyances and unfortunately, this will NOT scare you, but it will make you laugh and that was enough for us. It really was so bad that it ended up being quite good. I mean, with lines like, “Breathing’s for gays, dude”, how could it not be satisfactory?! We watched this with a friend on one of our traditional horror movie nights and were not disappointed. Maybe it got a little boost because the other two movies we picked were crap. Who knows? What I do know is that there was an awesome boob shot done in the very unsophisticated way we love. Ray is a crazy, drunk, Carlton-Urkel guy who screams intensely at the ghosts. Keith looks likes Seal and just may be the greatest actor in the world. And there’s Alex who has very odd facial expressions that had us laughing so hard we cried. We especially like what we have dubbed his “I need to shit on a cold day” face.
Sure the ghosts fingerprints look like caviar. And yes, the ending is poorly done. And yes, for some odd reason, the credits song, “Giving Up the Ghost”, sounds like it’s just a Halloween song being sung by Jem and the Holograms. But that stuff is CLASSIC given the right things framing it. And this had at least some of the right things.
My score: 69. DJ’s score: 60. And if you’d like to know our friend gave it a 67.
I suppose I could list my favorite movies here, but instead I'll give you a strange glimpse into what makes me TaraRomero.
1. I met George Romero. He was the kindest and sweetest man. He talked to me for longer than he should have with the line getting longer. He also held my hand. And when he noticed the ladybug I have tattooed on my wrist, he said he liked it and asked me it's name. Till then, it had not had a name. Now, I call him George.
2. I love stickers. All stickers. I just adore them. I even ask for stickers for Christmas! As a matter of fact, the birthday that just past, every member of my immediate family gave me sticker packs as gifts. Affordable and extremely appreciated.
3. I have never put much stock in astrology or horoscopes, but I LOVE the magic of the MBTI. Omg. I am an INFP and it actually sounds just like me. Introverted mostly. Creative always. Heart before head and not the most logical. Totally me! For better or worse.
4. It's no surprise I count horror so high up on the list of things that make me, me. However, it's so within my soul that I was part of the Horror Club in college. Interesting bunch. And even took a Horror Lit class as an elective. I got an A.
5. Coffee always makes me happy. Always. I'm particularly fond of caramel macchiatos. But I'll drink black coffee if it's the only thing available.
6. I hate shock for the sake of shock and endings that depress me. I always mention the movies Within (2016) and the Eli Roth produced, written and starred in, Aftershock (2012), as proof of this distate I have. I abhor the idea that just because I like horror, some people think I'd actually praise a movie that lets you think the "Final Girl" just made it through the night, only to slap her in the face with a tsunami.
7. We are big time animal people. I mean, if I could, I'd have an elephant, a bear, a zebra, a penguin, an otter and a meerkat, living with me. Seriously though. We have 2 dogs right now and 2 cats. Both cats we picked up when they each came to our front door hungry. And both dogs we got from 2 different sets of neighbors. Both who, unfortunately, don't know how to care for pets long-term. But they're happy and healthy now!!
8. Revisiting my love of horror, one of the above cats, my cat, is a little black guy named Church. Because Pet Sematary. His middle name is even Pascow. To give credit where credit's due, the name was DJ's idea. But he loves horror too!
9. I'm big into art. Along with movie posters and an Anne Frank quote, I have some actual paintings on my wall. I really think Dali paints beautifully when he wants to. And if I don't get to see Michaelangelo's Pieta in person some day, I will be very disappointed.
10. Lastly, I find Emily Dickinson's poetry intriguing. I took an elective course about her as well. But do you know I injected horror even there? I was given a poem to dissect and I picked one on death, of course. Then, I researched old "Death Photos" and even printed out copies for everyone in the class. They were so interested in looking at them that it stopped them from all looking at me, and I was able to deal quite well with my stage fright. Haha
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One thought on “The Haunting of Whaley House (2012)”
I couldn’t resist commenting. Exceptionally well written!
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I couldn’t resist commenting. Exceptionally well written!
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