Directed by Ellory Elkayem. Written by William Butler and Aaron Strongoni. Starring Peter Coyote, John Keefe, Cory Hardrict, Aimee-Lynn Chadwick, Jana Kramer and Elvin Dandel.
Plot: a group of teens attempting to rescue their friend from an evil corporation inadvertently release a bunch of zombies.
Charlie (Coyote) goes to Chernobyl to get the last of the barrels from the Russian government. Not sure how or why he ended up in this movie, but lets push past that. Things go wrong while he’s picking them up. And although he gets the canisters, people die along the way.
Fast forward a little bit and Charlie’s nephew, Julian (Keefe) and his little brother live with their uncle because their parents died in some horrible car accident. For some reason, this doesn’t stop Julian or his friends being stupid on motorbikes and one of them, Zeke (Dandel), ends up doing a trick that lands him unconscious. Well, instead of being taken to a hospital, he’s taken to Hybra Tech, where Julian’s Uncle Charlie works. Also, Julian’s friend Katie (Kramer), works there as a security guard. Yes, a 100lb soaking wet little teenager works at a big evil corporation as one of it’s only security guards. Whatever.
Anyway, doing a little research, the kids decide that Uncle Charlie is lying to them and that Hybra Tech may be doing test on humans. So, they decide to bust Zeke out of there. Katie helps them from the inside, but once in, they are caught by Uncle Charlie, find zombies, accidentally release said zombies and have to bop there way back out.
This movie is funny all the way through, but not when it’s supposed to be. Like there’s three different montages and two of them are dirt bike montages. Also, the writing is ridiculous. How do two teenage boys just know how to repel down the side of a virtual skyscraper? There are also far too many fist fights with zombies. And I mean fist fights. Where the zombies actually put up their dukes and swing it out with a living person instead of just eating their damn brains. Ugh.
There’s also late reactions to gunfire, no reactions to gunfire, people falling down without actually being shot, and zombies falling like old people after being shot (like really slowly, knees hitting the ground first, then falling sideways like they’re bracing themselves). Honestly, it’s a very fun movie to watch because it’s just so silly. It’s rewatchable purely for shits and giggles.
I suppose I could list my favorite movies here, but instead I'll give you a strange glimpse into what makes me TaraRomero.
1. I met George Romero. He was the kindest and sweetest man. He talked to me for longer than he should have with the line getting longer. He also held my hand. And when he noticed the ladybug I have tattooed on my wrist, he said he liked it and asked me it's name. Till then, it had not had a name. Now, I call him George.
2. I love stickers. All stickers. I just adore them. I even ask for stickers for Christmas! As a matter of fact, the birthday that just past, every member of my immediate family gave me sticker packs as gifts. Affordable and extremely appreciated.
3. I have never put much stock in astrology or horoscopes, but I LOVE the magic of the MBTI. Omg. I am an INFP and it actually sounds just like me. Introverted mostly. Creative always. Heart before head and not the most logical. Totally me! For better or worse.
4. It's no surprise I count horror so high up on the list of things that make me, me. However, it's so within my soul that I was part of the Horror Club in college. Interesting bunch. And even took a Horror Lit class as an elective. I got an A.
5. Coffee always makes me happy. Always. I'm particularly fond of caramel macchiatos. But I'll drink black coffee if it's the only thing available.
6. I hate shock for the sake of shock and endings that depress me. I always mention the movies Within (2016) and the Eli Roth produced, written and starred in, Aftershock (2012), as proof of this distate I have. I abhor the idea that just because I like horror, some people think I'd actually praise a movie that lets you think the "Final Girl" just made it through the night, only to slap her in the face with a tsunami.
7. We are big time animal people. I mean, if I could, I'd have an elephant, a bear, a zebra, a penguin, an otter and a meerkat, living with me. Seriously though. We have 2 dogs right now and 2 cats. Both cats we picked up when they each came to our front door hungry. And both dogs we got from 2 different sets of neighbors. Both who, unfortunately, don't know how to care for pets long-term. But they're happy and healthy now!!
8. Revisiting my love of horror, one of the above cats, my cat, is a little black guy named Church. Because Pet Sematary. His middle name is even Pascow. To give credit where credit's due, the name was DJ's idea. But he loves horror too!
9. I'm big into art. Along with movie posters and an Anne Frank quote, I have some actual paintings on my wall. I really think Dali paints beautifully when he wants to. And if I don't get to see Michaelangelo's Pieta in person some day, I will be very disappointed.
10. Lastly, I find Emily Dickinson's poetry intriguing. I took an elective course about her as well. But do you know I injected horror even there? I was given a poem to dissect and I picked one on death, of course. Then, I researched old "Death Photos" and even printed out copies for everyone in the class. They were so interested in looking at them that it stopped them from all looking at me, and I was able to deal quite well with my stage fright. Haha
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